I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
