note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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