I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
