Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it was like his penis was on wheels.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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