Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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