very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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