You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
