i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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