idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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