If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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