i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
