does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
