I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
