Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
