We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.