Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth