I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.