I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I look better un-naked...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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