May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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