did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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