Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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