Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
