Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
