In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
