I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
