someone get that fucking seahorse.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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