Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
