Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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