tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
