I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
