HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
