people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
