Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
