people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
