lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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