oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
