Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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