why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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