in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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