I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Let's get the cat blown out
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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