two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
