I am puke
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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