I bet he comes in French.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
