Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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