WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
