If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
