If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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