I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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