Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
