and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
