piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
