I should be sponsored by Trojan
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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