I just made out with a guy for $7.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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