clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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