and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
