Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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